Two hours of 'Celebrity Apprentice'? TWO hours!?!?

Oh, NBC, you used to be such a proud network. With plans to program two hours weekly of "The Celebrity Apprentice" (9 p.m. Sunday), the network evidently aims for a status that would leave VH1 embarrassed by its programming.

Yes, "Celebrity Apprentice" feels more like one of those cheesy VH1 reality shows ("Confessions of a Teen Idol," "Tool Academy," etc.) only more desperate.

Once again it's men vs. women, and the celebs are D-list at best.

On the men's team: Clint Black, Andrew Dice Clay, Tom Green, Scorr Hamilton, Jesse James, Brian McKnight, Dennis Rodman and Herschel Walker.

On the women's team: Annie Duke, Natalie Gulbis, Claudie Jordan, Khloe Kardashian, Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, Brande Roderick and Tionne Watkins.

Maybe you'll recognize some of these people, but probably not all of them. Joan Rivers (pictured above) is unrecognizable, but that's due to her plastic surgery.

In their first outing, the two teams have to make and sell cupcakes, which they get their celeb friends to pay outrageous sums for. (Earnings go to charity.) Of course, fights ensue. Communication fails. And the boardroom scenes seem to go on forever, How else can they pad the show out to two hours? Sure, there are a few train wreck-entertaining moments, but mostly the show's a bore that ruins the initial "Apprentice" format by cheesing it up with washed-up former stars.

'Betty' gets ugly; YETI = ASME

"Ugly Betty" (8 tonight, ABC) began the season with promise, but after the first four weeks the series began to run off the rails. Too much of the story took place outside of Mode. Or when it was at Mode it was too much about relationships. But the relationships have been total snoozers. The show has given us no reason to care about Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) and her guy or Daniel (Eric Mabius) and his girl because the new love interests were not well drawn. These characters have little personality or appeal.

In addition, Betty (America Ferrera) has been all over the place: Living at home, getting an apartment, moving home again. Maybe it was all pre-planned, but it felt sloppy and haphazard.

Last week's episode was one of the better ones in a long time and, not surprisingly, those relationships were barely visible. Previews for this week indicate at least one of the two pairings may bite the dust. Let's hope.

Meanwhile, Betty has been accepted into YETI, an internship for young editors run by a character played by Bernadette Peters. If this faux program is not based on the real-life American Society of Magazine Editors summer internship program, it's an amazingly coincidental facsimile. As an alum of the ASME program, it's eerie how many similarities there are are, from Peters' character -- not altogether dissimilar from Marlene Kahan, ASME executive director -- to the lunch lectures by industry professionals. None of this means anything to most viewers, but I have to imagine I'm not the only ASME internship grad to notice the similarities.

'Mister Jindal's Neighborhood'?

Most of the commentary I've read today about Louisana Gov. Bobby Jindal's Republican response to last night's presidential address has compared his bizarre, sing-songy voice to Kenneth the Page on "30 Rock."

Personally, I felt like I was being talked to the way a fourth grade teacher talks to a class. Guess I wasn't the only one who felt that way judging by this video set to music from "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood." But Mister Rogers was far more successful communicating with his target audience through TV than Jindal was last night.

UPDATE: Kenneth responds!

Getting a job in TV

2-27-09 Update: NEVERMIND -- This seminar has been canceled because not enough people signed up.

The notion of seeking a job in TV today -- with all the downsizing and consolidation of media companies of all sorts -- may be bewildering to some, but for those who still dream (the impossible?) dream, the Mid-Atlantic chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (the Emmy folks) will feature a panel of industry experts Saturday, 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., at WQED Multimedia in Oakland.

The panel is designed for high school, college students and recent grads and costs $15 per person or $20 for students who sign up for a NATAS student membership. For details, contact Jennifer McFarlane at 215-310-9099 or Jennifer@natasmid-atlantic.org.

Michael Bartley (WQED's "On Q" reporter/managing editor) will moderate the panel, which will include Dave Crawley (KDKA-TV features reporter), Minette Seate ("Black Horizons" producer), Dave Forstate (KDKA-TV photographer/editor), Tonia Caruso (WQED's "On Q" reporter), Danielle Parson (KDKA's "Pittsburgh Today Live" producer) and Pierina Morelli (WQED's "On Q" producer/editor/photographer).

Job seekers will have the opportunity to have their resume reels evaluated by industry professionals. Registration begins at 9 a.m. and beverages and a light lunch will be served.

Oscar telecast ratings

Despite conventional wisdom that the lack of hit movies among the best picture nominees would translate into lower ratings for the Oscar telecast, the ratings for Sunday's show actually improved by 13 percent compared to last year's lowest-rated Oscars.

Variety reports 36 million viewers tuned in, up from 32 million in 2008. The bad news? It's still the third-lowest rated Oscar telecast of all time.

For a wrap up of all things Oscars, listen to this week's combined Rated PG and Tuned In podcasts for commentary from movie editor Barbara Vancheri, entertainment editor Sharon Eberson and myself. Listen or subscribe at post-gazette.com/podcast.

Politicians need to pipe down

When it comes to film and TV production, I've railed against politicians in the past. The last time, it was Pittsburgh City Councilman Doug Shields, among others, who was all upset about Pittsburgh Film Office director Dawn Keezer working from Los Angeles. Nevermind that we live in a telecommuting culture and it makes sense to have someone courting the film industry located in the heart of that industry. Other film offices do the same thing.

In the years since Keezer moved to Los Angeles, Pittsburgh has gotten significantly more film/TV work than it had previously. How much of that is attributable to Keezer being in L.A. or to the tax credits that have sprung up since, we may never know. The two are inextricably linked. But notice how Shields and other agitators shut up as soon as Pittsburgh started getting a lot of film/TV work; there's no longer talk of the need to reorganize the film office.

Now different politicians are threatening to derail local film/TV production in a new way.

State Sen. Patricia Vance (R-Cumberland/York) has proposed a moratorium on the state's film tax credit program, which has brought millions of dollars and many jobs to the state through film and TV production. Vance claims the $75 million incentive program brings in only $18.3 million in new tax revenue. Even if the tax revenue figure is correct, should the success of the program only be about tax revenue? What about all the jobs created, the local businesses that benefit and the potential for expanding the film industry locally?

Vance isn't alone in her wrong-headed thinking. State Sen. Jeffrey Piccola (R-Dauphin/York) believes the tax credits didn't result in more movies being shot in the state. Clearly he's been living under a rock. In the Pittsburgh region alone, film production has risen dramatically since the tax credit program began in 2004 and particularly since a more generous revision of the program in 2007.

He also believes that because movies were made here pre-tax credits that they would continue to be made here if we dropped the tax credits. That's only true if he has a time machine stashed away somewhere. Today Hollywood is having its own economic meltdown and no tax credits would mean no major motion picture/TV production in Pennsylvania. Period. And with Ohio planning to add tax credits, all the movies/TV shows that would select Pennsylvania for its experienced crews would simply go across the state line to our neighbor if we ditch our film tax credit program. (Anyone who doubts that need only look at what's happening in New York over uncertainty about its tax credit program.)

Piccola's claim that it's Hollywood moguls vs. scholarships for college kids is a typically cynical, disingenuous argument. It only has to be either/or if politicians make it so.

I suspect Vance and Piccola really object to the tax incentive program because their more rural counties are less likely to benefit from them since they lack the requisite crew base. But I'm sure there are other opportunities those rural areas get that big cities cannot. And it's not like the film credit is a subsidy with no benefit; it creates jobs and brings in money to local business.

In talking with industry sources, I get the sense that the CBS pilot "Three Rivers" will likely film in Pittsburgh if the tax credit stays in place. (There's less likelihood that the entire series would shoot here, if only because actors' contracts could specify a need to work regularly in Los Angeles or New York, but it's not out of the question.)

If incentives for Hollywood productions were somehow a boondoggle, I'd agree the film tax credit program would make bad economic sense to fund. But it's not.

With incentives, local film and TV production contribute to the local economy while training a new generation and exporting the image of Pennsylvania to the rest of the country and the world.

Without incentives, that will all go away. Even California, home to Hollywood, is talking about an incentive program for filmmakers (looks like they got one). For once, Pennsylvania was ahead of the curve. Let's not take an evolutionary step backward by killing an effective economic driver.

Conan's last 'Late Night'

Last night Conan O'Brien said farewell to NBC's "Late Night" as he prepares to move on to "The Tonight Show." 

I can't say I watched O'Brien's show much over the years -- I'm a morning person and late-night TV is way past my bedtime -- but when I did see it, I always enjoyed his zany sense of humor, which this final episode showcased. I hope he doesn't completely lose his absurdist streak when he takes over "The Tonight Show" this summer.

Among his guests for the last episode: Former sidekick Andy Richter, John Mayer, Will Ferrell (as George W. Bush), The White Stripes and Abe Vigoda, a frequent comedy target.

O'Brien thanked many people, including David Letterman, his predecessor on "Late Night" and his 11:30 p.m. competitor beginning this summer, calling Letterman "one of the most brilliant broadcasters if the last century and this century and of all time." He also acknowledged the support he's received over the years from Jay Leno, whose new 10 p.m. show basically leaves O'Brien with a tarnished "Tonight Show."

My colleague Sharon Eberson has been watching "Late Night" more regularly and offered these observations on the POPi blog.

I actually was in the audience for the very first O'Brien-hosted "Late Night" and reviewed it for the Richmond Times-Dispatch, my employer at the time. (I tried to find a link to the review but had no luck; their Web site only goes back to 2000.) I don't think I was supposed to write a review -- copies of the premiere were not made available to critics in advance of air -- but I happened to be in NY and managed to get tickets from the show's publicist. I actually enjoyed that first show and gave it a positive review while everyone else savaged the program. Maybe I was wrong at the time, but at least I was eventually proved right about O'Brien's talent.

'Mistresses' bed hops across the pond

There's certainly a bit of DNA from "Sex and the City," "Cashmere Mafia" and "Lipstick Jungle" in BBC America's "Misstresses" (8 tonight), but it's less comic than "Sex" and a far better, more grounded dramatic series than "Cashmere" or "Lipstick."

The show's title is certainly trashier and more titillating than the series itself, a fairly straightforward drama that's more interested in honest emotional interaction than campy escapades. And not every character commits infidelity in the most conventional sense.

Trudi (Sharon Small, "Inspector Lynley Mysteries," pictured second from left) is a 9/11 widow who has difficulty moving on, in part because of the hang up phone calls she keeps receiving. Unmarried Jessica (Shelley Conn, pictured on the left) is a commitment-phobe who sleeps with her boss but appears poised for an affair with a lesbian client (Anna Torv, star of Fox's "Fringe").

Siobhan (Orla Brady, "Shark," pictured right) and husband Hari (Raza Jaffrey, "MI-5") strive to create a family, leaving Siobhan feeling emotionally adrift when sex becomes more about procreation and less about love. And Katie (Sarah Parish, "Viva Blackpool," pictured second from right) gets the most high-stakes story: The man she was mistress to dies -- she was his family's doctor -- and the man's son begins calling on her.

Fans of character-driven drama series would be well-advised to cheat on American networks Friday nights to watch this surprisingly classy, engrossing prime-time soap.

Possible 'BSG'-'Caprica' spoiler

Sometimes listening to podcasts about TV shows at the gym pays off.

This morning I was listening to "Battlestar Galactica" creator Ron Moore's podcast on last week's super-dense, super-confusing episode that included a revelation in the episode about a character named Daniel we had not heard of before. I got the impression that Daniel is a Cylon.

The whole premise of "Caprica," the "BSG" spin-off, has seemed a little pointless to me since the revelation on "BSG" that Cylons were not created in the "Caprica" time frame, the supposed premise of that prequel series, but thousands of years earlier.

Now I think I may have it figured out after hearing Moore say on the podcast that "Daniel" will play an important role in "Caprica." So I looked up the Sci Fi Channel description of "Caprica":

Set 50 years before "Battlestar Galactica," "Caprica" follows two rival families - the Graystones and the Adamas. Bound together by tragedy, their ensuing struggle will determine the fate of the 12 Colonies.

"Caprica" is a society rife with advanced technology. Little do they know they are trembling on the brink of the creation of the first cybernetic life-form node, or CYLON.

Passion, intrigue and betrayal set the stage for the coming revolution.

The Graystones and Adamas come from different cultures and wildly different socio-economic backgrounds. Daniel Graystone (Eric Stoltz) is a computer genius and the leading businessman of the 12 Colonies. His wife, Amanda Graystone (Paula Malcolmson) is an elite neurosurgeon. Joseph Adama (Esai Morales) is an immigrant, a lawyer with ties to the mob, and a father who is desperate to reconnect with his estranged son, William (Sina Najafi).

Their bitter rivalry will bring the end of life as they know it.

Their children are the future.

So either Daniel is a secret Cylon who re-creates the Cylons or Daniel creates a skinjob Cylon and names it after himself, which would also explain why the character is an important part of the Cylon story.

New TV podcast

This week's podcast offers a preview of a travel story running in the PG Sunday about tours of the Univesal Studios backlot and Warner Bros. Sunday's article describes the differences in the two tours and the podcast offers up a review of both. Listen or subscribe at post-gazette.com/podcast.