Notes From a Friday (the 13th) Afternoon (Part 3)

(terrorizing the teenagers of my mind)

For your consideration: another curious collection of thoughts, reactions, and observations that didn’t make it into a full-length post this week...

• That's right, folks. For the third time this year, the Notes fall on a Friday the 13th. I’m still trying to decide whether to be pleased or frightened. Either way, I survived the first two, which is more than can be said for any character in the history of that eternal, and now eternally suffering, horror film franchise. (Well, except for one.)

• Quick programming note: Part 3 of the Student Tax posts — this one digging deeper into the shameful, and often intellectually dishonest, response by some of our local universities — will appear here Monday. (If you want or need to catch up, see Part 1 and Part 2.)

• In the comment thread for Part 2, an exchange I had with reader CP made me realize, in a startling moment of both moral clarity and political perversion, that The Mayor’s Student Tax proposal does not go nearly as far as it should. I mean, why stop at college kids? Why not extend the Fair Share Shakedown Tax to high schoolers, middle schoolers, elementary schoolers? Hell, why not go after all those little tax delinquents and financial miscreants in daycare too? What are they paying for the services they receive from the city?

• Take my boys, for example. They both take advantage of the privilege of getting an education in Pittsburgh, they both reap the benefits of many city services, yet — damn those child labor laws! —  neither one is old enough to work or, therefore, pay taxes of their own. I mean, sure, Wendy and I pay taxes, but so do our next door neighbors, and they don’t have any kids. Which means that they’re essentially helping to subsidize our freeloading offspring. Shouldn’t Adam and Ethan pay their fair share too?

• Note to Yarone Zober: When you’re done going after the college kids, tax the kids at Linden and Allderdice next!

• And don’t even get me started on all those brats who go to private school...

• One of my most fervent hopes for the week is that someone, anyone, videotaped last night's Time Person of the Year discussion. I’d love to see footage of The Mayor defending his choices of Ted Kennedy (because he died?), Michelle Obama (because he got to meet her?), and Dan Rooney (well, duh). 

• The intrepid and always-plugged-in Bram Reichbaum reports this morning that The Mayor, via his brand-spanking-new Twitter feed, reports that two leading contenders for the Time (ahem) award are the unemployed American worker and Twitter. The former sounds like an interesting choice. The latter would make President Obama’s Nobel look like a wise and well-considered decision by comparison. And it would somehow manage to be an even bigger joke than that time three years ago when they gave it to me. 

• Though I did look kind of cool on the cover. 

• In fairness to the Mayor, I should point out that this news report makes it seem as if he were the most thoughtful and sensible person on the panel. When the competition includes Barbara Walters, Dr. Oz, and the Top Chef guy, that’s not exactly high praise, of course. But it’s still good to see.

• It is rare that I agree with Tom Sokolowski, and rarer still that I would want to agree with Jimmy Kimmel, but on the subject of the North Shore’s new pumice stone of a Fred Rogers statue, they are both spot-on. Mr. Sokolowski thinks the statue is neither beckoning nor warm, and therefore a poor representation of its subject. Mr. Kimmel says it makes the nicest man in the world look like a mud monster. Those two comments encapsulate everything I hate — and I do mean hate — about the statue. A tribute to Mr. Rogers, who had not the slightest hint of a hard edge to him, should not be rough and craggly and abrasive. Nor should it look like it might, when you’re not looking, rise up and eat your children.

• For just one dramatic study in contrast, compare the Mr. Rogers statue to the statue of Jim Henson at the University of Maryland College Park...

...which manages to be warm and inviting and welcoming to children (of all ages), capture the charm and essence and gentility of the man (and his Muppet), and also avoid the temptation, still uncomprehended by this writer, to make him the sculptural equivalent of a blowfish. 

•

• (Yes, I left that last note intentionally blank. If hotels and office buildings can do it, so can I.)

• In the space of six days last week, my teams lost to Luke Ravenstahl, the New York Yankees, and the Dallas Cowboys. If Al Qaeda had come and attacked Squirrel Hill, the indignity would have been complete.

• The TRM Facebook Status of the Week (and Quite Possibly the Month) Award goes to the author — and he knows who he is — of this little gem: [Chad’s Friend] declares a war on bumper stickers. I don't care where some unknown driver vacations, how smart her kid or dog are, or for whom he voted in the last election. Now, if people begin to put bumper stickers on their cars that warn me that they often talk on their cell phones while they drive, or that they inexplicably prefer to drive in the passing lane and not pass anyone, then I am amenable to an armistice.

• The TRM Clairvoyant, But Not Quite Courageous Enough in His Predication Award goes to reader and commenter CP (also mentioned above), who, in the comment thread for the first installment of the Friday the 13th Notes, responded to the lowest point of the Pens' season, the late implosion against the Maple Leafs that sealed Michel Therrien's fate, thusly: Or we might look back three months from now and point to the Toronto loss as a catalyst that springboarded the team into a dominating stretch run. Doubt it, though. There is, as Lanny Frattare used to say, and as Dan Bylsma helped to prove, no doubt about it anymore.

• Ever wondered what Neil Young might sound like if he were covered by the Talking Heads? I never did either, even though I'm a huge fan of both artists. An online video I discovered this week of David Byrne doing a live, solo rendition of "Rockin' in the Free World" provides the answer: it would sound pretty darned good. 

• And, finally... Another programming note: On Monday, the PG plans to drain the moat, lay down the drawbridge, and throw open the gates to the Plus Side. That means that, for One Day Only, you get to explore all the cool stuff behind the pay-wall — including my not-nearly-as-embarrassing-as-they-could-be appearances on Mackenzie Carpenter's Omnivore webcast. On Monday morning, I'll offer up links to all of the TRM cameo appearances, and at least a couple of other suggestions on what you'll want to check out. Stay tuned...