Why kids don't drive

My first wife and I separated 12 years ago. For two of the intervening years, I lived in a tiny little box of a house down the street, so the two kids I share with her could actually walk back and forth between the two homes. For the other 10 I have lived at least 20 minutes away.

Making some rough estimates, that means I have driven some 62,400 miles over those years going back and forth to see them or bring them to my home (figuring four 30-mile round trips weekly for 10 years, which does not account for the ever-increasing numbers of extra trips to take them to parties and football games and play practices).

As those years were adding up and those numbers were mounting, I began pondering how different life would be when my daughter could drive.

"Ah!" I thought to myself, "how nice that will be! They will just show up at my door! They'll be able to come and go as they please! And no wrangling over needing rides to parties!"

At first, I was just zeroed in on that 16th birthday. I knew it wasn't that simple, but when your kid's, like, nine, the details surrounding 16 don't seem too relevant.

As it got closer, I had to accept the fact that it takes six months to get a license after that magic 16th birthday. So OK, I could wait.

And now 16 has come and gone. The six-month mark has come and gone. In another month she'll be 17 (!!!!!!!!!!!). She's had her permit forever; she's been driving all along. She's good to go.

But no license.

I've lived in my current home for more than four years now. I have two primary routes I take to go get the kids, and a couple of other alternatives that make for amusing drives if I'm not in a hurry. Still, I am bored to death of the en route scenery, and with $3.59 gas (and that looks good compared to a month ago) I face the maddening reality that I burn twice as much going to get them as they would coming to me (since it would be one-way for them, you see).

I am really REALLY ready to depart the chauffeuring business. So why? Why no license?

Because it costs $100 A MONTH TO INSURE A TEENAGER! $100 a month! I was shocked by that -- who can afford an extra $100 a month? Not me. And not my ex-wife. My daughter's working, but $100 a month would be most of her earnings and she also pays for her cell plan.

Now, I could be the tough-love type, tell her that if she wants to drive she needs to at least share the insurance cost. But you know what? She doesn't care all that much if she drives or not; most of the places she wants to go are around town.

In essence, what I'd be telling her is that if she wants to come visit me, she's going to have to pay to do it. What kind of father does that? And even if I were that kind of father, what do I do when she says, "OK, I'll just hang around Mother's house and spend time with my friends." What then?

To add to the stress, I can't help aknowledging an irritating truth, that my parents paid for my car insurance when I was a teenager. I feel like I should somehow do this for my own daughter.

But $100 a month? That's what it costs to insure both my wife and me, and we drive a bazillion miles a year.

Meanwhile, my stepson will turn 16 in January. Buy insurance for one, ya kinda hafta buy it for the other. That's $200 a month -- more than the rent for my first apartment in 1986. And my son just turned 14. Two more years, that's $300 a month -- almost the mortgage on the house my ex-wife and I lived in when these pricey little people were born.

I don't know how other parents do it. I really don't.

Read the complete post at http://pittsburghmom.com/blogs/burghdad/archive/2008/09/07/why-kids-don-t-drive.aspx